Past and Present

 The year 2006 is behind us all now. All the hardships, losses, all gone with the passing of the past year. A new year has begun for all of us. A fresh start in making our lives a little better then the year before. A new beginning for memories, for love, and for whatever we want in our lives. I have no new year resolutions, just have things I would like to come about in this new year. One thing I know I really want is to move into a bigger home. Now that my Rebecca is 5 years old she needs her own room. She has slept in the same bedroom as Jim and I since she was born. Yes, I am an over protective Mom. I feel better having her in my room where I know she is safe and I can look over at her during the night and make sure she hasn't rolled out of her bed, or kicked off her covers. I just feel secure knowing she is in my room asleep and safe. People have told me I should of fussed over the 12 day issue of her missing out on going to kindergarten. She missed the school start date by 12 days. But you know what, even though I could of put up a fuss and maybe got her into kindergarten, I am glad I didn't. I am not ready to have my baby grow up. I'm not ready for her to become independent and not be by my side during the day. I enjoy her company, our tea parties and coloring together, or just her sitting on my lap and looking at the computer with me. I enjoy our walks together, and our talks, and just spending time together. I know the time will come when I will have to let go and she will start school, bath herself, dress herself and put on her own coat, but right now I just want to enjoy being her Mommy and doing all that for her. It makes me feel great knowing that this little person depends on me for so much. Sometimes I complain about her making such a mess and not cleaning up her toys, but in my heart I know a few years from now she will be cleaning up her mess all by herself and I will miss doing the little things like that for her. When my Emma turned 6yrs old, she became so independent. She bathed, dressed and combed her own hair, didn't need my help as much anymore. She was 6 going on 16. Rebecca is busy right now playing with her dollhouse that Angie I mean Santa gave her for christmas. She loves it, Santa!!!!!!!! All the stressing I did over the holidays last year, and Jim losing his job really took a toll on me, but thanks to a few of you here in Jland who helped me so very much to give my daughter a wonderful christmas I felt better. Jim's unemployment was approved and we were able to get the van and pay off some bills. We even had enough to pay the entire 6 mos insurance policy off and not have to worry about a payment each month. Income tax refund this year is going to be used to move with only. I want a bigger home, with a laundry room and a back yard. A yard big enough where I can have a vegetable garden and an herb garden. One where I can put up a swingset for Rebecca and my grandchildren to play on. I think I will go to a realtor when the time comes, and let them help me find a home. I want one where after a year or two the landlord isn't gonna tell me he is selling the house and I have to move. I want to be able to live there for many years. And I want a contract that states I can. I just want to be able to feel I am home. And I definately want out of this city. Just too much crime and traffic. The year 2006 we had over 400 murders here in Philadelphia alone. I worry about drive by shootings, I worry about my child and grandchildren having to attend these schools here. I worry about the people who have no respect for the law and run red lights and don't stop at a stop sign. A couple weeks ago Rebecca and I were crossing the street and some jerk, music blasting ran a stop sign and almost hit us while we were crossing the street. What ever happened to giving the pedestrian the right of way? I am holding my childs hand, carrying a store bag and walking with my cane and he's in a hurry and almost runs us over. Ignorant and uncaring jerk, is what he is. I want to lose some weight, but I am not making it a new years resolution to do so. I just know I have to due to my health issues. Having high blood pressure, I know it is dangerous to be over weight. Even if I can lose 1 or 2 pounds a month, I will be happy. I know for a fact trying to lose alot all at once always backfires. I have spent thousands of dollars over the years on diet aids and none of them worked for me. What works is lots of water, staying away from junk food, fast food and fried greasy foods. Adding more veggies and fruits to your daily routine is a big help. You don't have to do strenuous exercises either. Take a walk around the block, or walk in place lifting your legs like your marching while watching a 30  minute tv show. I have done that and it does work. Or put on some music and dance for 15 minutes. As long as you are moving on a regular basis and watching what you eat you will lose weight. I am planning a dieting journal. I am gonna ask my mother in law who was an RN for almost 50 years to help me in getting recipes, tips and exercises that won't kill us doing, lol. I guess I will go now. I have alot to do today. I will make another entry tonight, most likely and tell you about my day.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.

CINDY