FUNNY

> > Marriage (Part I )
> >
> > Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady,
> > and
> > After the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
> >
> > "I'll be home whe n I want, if I want and at what
> > time
> > I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
> > I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
> > I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
> > I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
> > when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
> > give me a hard time about it
> > Those are my rule s. Any comments?"
> >
> > His new bride said:
> > "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there
> > will be sex
> > here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're
> > here or not."
> >
> > (DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
> >
> > ************************************************
> >
> > Marriage (Part II)
> >
> >
> > Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
> > their 40th wedding anniversary!
> >
> >
> > The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
> > headstone
> > That reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever!'"
> >
> >
> > "Yeah?" she replies "When you die, I'm getting you a
> > headstone
> > That reads, 'Here Lies My Husband! -- Stiff At
> > Last!'"
> >
> > (HE AS ASKED FOR IT!)
> >
> >
> > *****************************************
> >
> > Marriage (Part III)
> >
> >
> > Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight
> > at the breakfast table.
> >
> > Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no
> > Good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
> >
> >
> > After some time he realizes he was nasty and
> > decides to make amends and rings her up.
> >
> > She comes to the phone after many rings, and the
> > irritated husband
> > Says, "What took you so long to answer to the
> > phone?"
> >
> >
> > She says, "I was in bed."
> >
> > "In bed this early, doing what?"
> >
> > "Getting a second opinion!"
> >
> > (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
> >
> > *****************************************
> >
> > Marriage (Part IV)
> >
> > A man has six children and is very proud of his
> > achievemen t.
> >
> > He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling
> > his
> > Wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
> >
> >
> > One night, they go to a party. The man decides that
> > it IS time to go home
> > and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave
> > as well. He shouts
> > At the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of
> > Six?"
> >
> >
> > His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
> > discretion, < /B>
> > Shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of
> > Four."
> >
> >
> > (RIGHT ON, LADY!)
> >
> > *****************************************
> >
> > THE SILENT TREATMENT
> >
> > A man and his wife were having some problems at home
> >
> > And were giving each other the silent treatment.
> >
> > Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would
> > need his wife
> > To wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business
> > flight.
> >
> > Not wanting t o be the first to break the silence
> > (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
> > Of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it
> > where he knew she would find it
> >
> > The next morning the man woke up, only to discover
> > it
> > was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
> >
> >
> > Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife
> > hadn't wakened him when he
> > Noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said
> > , "It is 5:00 AM Wake up."

I DON'T REMEMBER WHERE I GOT THIS FROM, BUT I LOVED IT AND I HOPE YOU DO TOO.

 

CINDY