I'm still here.

 A big thank you to Sugar for this lovely tag.

Earlier today I made a huge entry, and when finished I clicked the save button and BAMMMMMMMMMMM, fricken AOHELL ate it. I was so mad, I shut the computer off and left the room and I just now returned to this computer. If it eats it again, I swear I'm taking an ax to this damn machine.

I am sorry I haven't been around lately. My life has just been so screwed up lately, I hadn't the energy to even write one sentence. I was feeling like I was in a bottomless pit and just kept falling and falling. I know it was due to that coughing and gagging thing I had. It lasted 3 weeks. Pure hell it was. I coughed and gagged so much I made myself puke on numerous occassions. And there was the deep coughing that caused urine to shoot right out of you. I had to go buy kotex pads to wear due to that, and I don't even need those things anymore. My lungs felt as though they were filled with cement and I couldn't breathe in deep without coughing and choking on whatever it was I was spitting out, gross I know, sorry. Between not eatting, puking, pissing myself, choking and gagging, the coughing, migrain headaches and the days and days and days of not getting any sleep, I was ready for the looney bin. Night after night I slept sitting up in the rocking chair with feet on computer chair and covered just to get a couple hours sleep. I could not lay in my bed and sleep because I coughed all night. Total misery. Jim went to Emma and asked her if there was something wrong between us or if I was mad at him because I haven't slept in our bed for so long. The past few nights I have slept on the couch instead of the rocking chair. Tonight I will try for the first time in weeks to sleep in my bed again. I really hope I can. On top of all of that, I have been dealing with an abcessed tooth for a long while now. Well, with lots of listerine and constant wiggling of the tooth, I got that sucker so loose tonight, I grabbed it with 2 fingers and pulled it right out, root and all. And let me tell you it feels so much better. I showed it to Jim. He just shook his head and said, Your just like your Dad. I guess I am, he pulled alot of his own teeth out also. So far I've only pulled 2 of my own.

Rebecca woke up this morning with a baby tooth hanging, so I pulled it for her and she made a quick dash to the bathroom to rinse her mouth, lol. It is such a tiny little tooth. It is all wrapped in a napkin under her pillow waiting for the toothfairy. She is hoping the toothfairy leaves her presents, lol. Well, yes she is. I had Jim go to the dollar store today while he was out working and he picked her up a couple things. Bead kit for her hair and a Blingy necklace that says Drama Queen. I call her that all the time, lol. She also hopes she gets quarters, not dollars, she wants quarters, lol. So we'll add a few of those under her pillow also. Then I'll take that little tooth, remove it from the tissues and add it to the tiny treasure chest I keep in the medicine cabinet with every tooth she has lost and had pulled.

I kept my granddaughter for 3 days. She is so behind in schooling. Well, we  really crammed in studies of all subjects in these 3 days and she did great. I made her a book, and within just 30 minutes she could read it. I was so proud, I praised her and told her she was so smart and I was so proud of her. Then she wanted to call her mommy and read it to her, and she did. Emma was like Oh my Gosh Mom, how did you do that? I told her sound out the letters and put the sounds together real fast. And it worked. The smile on her face after she read that book was priceless. She read it to her Poppop also. He was so proud of her. She got a big hug and kiss from Poppop, which brought another smile to her face.

Tomorrow at 7:am Dan goes in for spinal surgery. Please keep him in your prayers. He's scared and he is worried, but he knows it is something he has to have done. Everyday since he fell has been awful for him. He's in so much pain, sometimes he can barely move. He's been depressed and crying because he feels helpless and Emma does everything for him. He keeps telling her he is sorry and asking her not to leave him. He is afraid she's gonna get fed up and leave. I told him there's no chance of that. That girl loves him more then life and will stick by him no matter what.

Rebecca and I are staying home from school tomorrow, just in case we're needed over at Emma's. Uncle Bill will have Adrianna and Daniel. Emma is taking Marissa with her to the hospital with Dan. Marissa told her mommy and daddy she has to go. Cause if daddy knows she is there, he will wake up and be all better again. With hearing that, they could not refuse her. She is Daddy's girl. She has been so cute helping Emma care for Dan. She'll put his plate in the sink, get him bottled water, or a pillow. She will tell him, no no no daddy, you sit down, I will do it. You need to rest. She's like a little mother hen.

Anyways, I want to thank everyone who has called and left messages, emailed me and sent ecards asking if I was ok. That made me feel so great knowing people cared. I'm feeling better. That bottomless pit finally got a bottom and I am climbing my way back out of it. I'm not breaking down and crying anymore at the drop of a dime. For a while I thought I was having a nervous breakdown or something. But I am a fighter and I am fighting my way back. It's going slow, but I am doing it. Hopefully soon I will be my old self again. I've been taking lots of vitamin C, Women's vitamins and a stresstab everyday. I'm drinking lots of water and herbal tea's. Tonight before bed, I will take a dose of Robitussin and 2 Tylenol Pm's and hope for a good nights sleep.

I have 300 alerts. I know I will never get to all of them, but I will try to get to most of them. For those of you on the east coast, keep warm, and for those on the west coast, send us some warm weather please, lol. I woke up at 6am this morning and it was 12 degree's outside. That's just too darn cold for me.

Guess I better go so aohell doesn't eat this entry.

Love you all..............CINDY

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