I'm sorry my instant message is off tonight, and I haven't posted the story I said I was going to post. But tonight I am just in a bad way. I actually want to cry, and I most likely will before I go to bed. Maybe even cry myself to sleep. I was told something tonight that has really hurt me. Jim told me tonight that he had to defend me a couple weeks ago to 2 people he thought were his friends. The three of them were up to the cabin and got to talking. One of them said he can't atand his girlfriend cause she gets on his nerves. Jim sort of laughs cause he has met this girlfriend and she is a little wierd. He looks at Jim and says why are you laughing? Look at your wife, she's over weight, scarred up by cancer and sit's around all day doing nothing. I do nothing? He has been here 2 times, both at night, what am I suppose to be scrubbing floors or ironing at night? Screw him!!!!!!!!!!!! The other friend says nothing except shrugs his shoulder's and nods his head. Jim got mad and said, look you can talk about your girlfriend all you want, but my wife was sick, she could of died, and she is still healing from the ordeal she went through, so you need to mind your own business and not worry what my wife does with her time. Well, Jim says ever since that time at the cabin, he's being ignored. He was told tonight, that Brad was looking for a one bedroom apartment to rent, and our rent hasn't gone up, but the utilities have in the past 2 month's. Ummm wasn't it just summer? Were we suppose to sit up here in 100* weather and sweat to death? This coming from a person I have over for dinner quite a few evenings a week. Who's mother I take care of when she is here and he is at work. He was gonna sell us his truck, but Brad told him get it fixed, you can get 4 grand for it, instead of 600.00. So he's been having it worked on. We were told the turtle aquarium runs constantly, and is making the electric bill higher, that the kitchen always has a light on, yes it does at night. A small appliance bulb over top the stove, so Becca can see when she gets up to go potty. And I am always on the computer, Am I suppose to just sit here and look at a screen with nothing on it? We already replaced every light up here with energy efficient bulbs, we don't keep every light on in the place at night, some nights I don't even use the stove, we have a sandwich. The TV is on, because Rebecca is watching noggin or cartoons or the disney channel. We don't control the heat. The thermostat is down at Joe's. He keeps it set on 65 during the day and 62 at night. The only time he ever turnes it up higher is if his Mom is there. Most of the winter we sit up here under a blanket to keep warm, but we don't complain to him about it, because it is his house. Last year he was going to buy a house and give us the mortgage book and we'd pay the mortgage for it and it would be ours. He never mentioned it again. As soon as we do our taxes the end of January and the money is deposited into our account, we are out of here. I think it's time we left. I am very upset over all this. Especially what was said about me. I do not sit around all day. How can I? I have a child, I take her outdoors, we go for walks, I'm forever cleaning up after her. Yes, I am over weight, why does it bother him? I'm not his wife. I am Jim's wife.

I'm sorry to rant on like this, but I am just so hurt over this. His sorry ass ate here the two times he's been over, even had seconds, and he's gonna say something so mean about me. I have now got a headache over this. I guess I'll go to bed now, and shut everything off, so I don't run up the electric bill. Sorry this is a depressing entry. Good night everyone.