Today is October 15th, Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Remembrance Day. On this day I have lit my candle for a special baby boy. His name was Michael Joseph Wickizer. He was born December 17, 1998 to my daughter Emma and her first husband Jeffrey. Michael was born by an emergency c-section because there was no heart beat when Emma went to the doctor's that morning. Michael was born weighing 9 pounds 5 ounces and was 21.5 inches long. Full head of brown hair, but he was turning a shade of blue. We were told he suffocated in the womb, he was just too big. When my daughter awakened from the c-section, she was screaming she wanted her baby. I heard her from down the hall, where I was holding my precious grandson in my arms saying my goodbyes to him. I had to go to my daughter, I had to be the one to tell her. I carried lil Michael in my arms wrapped in a blanket to my daughter, where I placed his lifeless little body into her arms. Emma brought him close to her face and kept saying Michael wake up, wake up, mommy loves you. The nurse injected some med in Emma's IV and she fell asleep within seconds. I took her son out of her arms and held him for a while longer, until the nurse took the baby from me. That was the worse pain I ever experienced. To see my daughter so unhappy. She carried her son for 9 month's and when she held him for the first time he was gone to be with god. Every year on December 17th, I light a candle and sit it by his photo, and wish my beautiful grandson a happy birthday. Yes, we have a professional picture taken of him. The nurse and photographer worked together and had him look just like he was sleeping. I am so grateful to them for doing that. It really helps me, to have that picture. God Bless every woman who has suffered the loss of their child or their grandchild. And god bless the precious little souls who went to be with god in heaven.
God Bless you Michael. Mommom loves you!!!!
i am so sorry about the loss of your grandson. great tribute
ReplyDeleteDeb
Oh how sad, yet heartwarming. You held him and gave him to his Mom, trying to help in every way....wonderful thing they did with the picture. That's a treasure to keep.
ReplyDeleteI lost a baby too & lit a candle tonight. You can read about her in my entry Abusive husband & loss of Baby...it's on my side bar under All About Me.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Sugar
This was so sad to read. I'm so glad your daughter had you for a Mamma. She had great support. That must've been the hardest thing to go through. What a tribute!
ReplyDeleteNELISHIA
http://journals.aol.com/nelishianatl/WISHINGANDHOPING/
http://journals.aol.com/tsalagiprincess1/JumpingOffTheDeepEnd/
wonderful tribute to your grandson ~ Ally
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely tribute to your grandson, I dont think that it is something that you ever get over, I lit a candle to lastnight for my grandaughter Lydia, and for mygrandchild that was sadly miscarried at 3mth, five days after Lydia crossed
ReplyDeletetake care love 'N' hugs Lynne xx
I had tears pricking my eyes when I read this. God bless your little Grandson. I lost a child of my own but during pregnancy.
ReplyDeletehttp://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/
that is just beautiful and so very sad. Hugs and prayers to you and Emma.
ReplyDeleteThat is so incredibly sad. I am so sorry for your loss. Your daughter is very lucky to have such a wonderful mom.
ReplyDelete((hugs))
Jeanne
I can't even imagine going through that. You are such a good mom. I wish my mom had been as attentive as you are to your kids.
ReplyDeletePam
((((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU)))))))))))))))))))That is just so sad,you are such a good Mom.2 of my sister n laws and my sister had lost a baby.Its just sad.But watching my sister,because,I was at the house helping out a long time ago,She has 3 beatiful kids now.But it was a sad time.SAd time for anyone that looses a baby.I hope you have a nice day.
ReplyDeletethat is so horrible. i am happy that you guys mad it through. it takes very strong family to deal with such a loss
ReplyDeletenoelle
I am so sorry that you all had to go through that. It is devastating to lose a child....hugs and prayers!
ReplyDeleteGretchen
i've no ideahow it feels to lose a child nor a grandchild ( cause i have neither of them yet) but i can almost imagine the heartbreak of it and i know it's a very hard ordeal to get through......But through god's grace and his devine power and wisdom .....and with time ( lots of it) thewounds in that part of the heart become healed enough for the loss to become bearable....I pray for your grandson andemma andthe rest of the family......GOD BLESS YOU ALL .....I LOVE YOUGIRL
ReplyDeleteNancy
Oh Cindy, I just had NO idea. :( Poor Emma, she is such a wonderful daughter. I can't imagine going through that ;( My oldest was 9 lbs 11 oz. so this is scarey really because I know what it's like to carry a child <sigh> Would love to see a picture if your ever up to posting one, maybe that is to much, I understand either way.
ReplyDeleteMuch Love
Angie
My heart cries for Michael, for he never knew such a great grandma as you. Thinking of you today...im sorry for having to go through such pain. i cant imagine anything more important than that momment in both you and your daughters lives. im glad it was you who was there for her. What a blessing you are.
ReplyDeletelove Christine
Hi Cindy,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. How difficult that has to be.
Donna
Aww, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of her baby boy... but it's good to know that there's days of remembrance for these kinds of things.
ReplyDeleteMorgan
xxxx
http://journals.aol.com/Sneezy7125/RandomThoughts
So sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteKrissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
Awww Cindy! I'm so sorry for your families' loss. Poor Emma her new baby son. I could never imagine. My next door neighbor had the same thing happen to her. The baby stopped moving one day after her doctors appointment and they had heard the heartbeat then. He was delivered stillborn. It just happened all of a sudden. So awful. The way I look at it you all now have you're very own special angel looking over you.
ReplyDeleteTake care, Chrissie
Oh wow Cindy, that made me cry, I could never imagine losing any of my children. I'm so sorry you and your daughter had to experience that.
ReplyDeleteAmy