Thursday, July 3, 2008

Lost Friendships

Thank you Sugar for this lovely tag.

Good Morning everyone. I hope all of you are doing well. I'm sitting here looking at this entry and for the life of me I can't figure out what to write. Can you believe that? Me speechless, lol? Ok let me see if I can write something. Well, Jim was downstairs with Joe the other day. I was at Emma's. Out of the blue Jim says Joe started again, saying I was excess baggage, I was fat and lazy and holding Jim back. I guess my talk with Jim worked, because he blew up at Joe. Alot of mean things were said and Joe told Jim to get out of his house and to move. Which we are already planning on doing come Aug 1st. I still caan't figure out why Joe hates me so much. I have never said or done anything wrong to him. I have always been there for him as a friend and care giver to his Mom. I've run errands for him like grocery store, bank, post office. I've cooked for his dinner parties, I've had him over for dinner numerous times, and he even went to a few of my doctor appointments and chemo treatments with me. I thought he was my friend, a member of my family. But I guess he felt otherwise. It all has me very depressed. Jim says things will be better once we are moved. I sure hope so.

My son in law Dan may have to have more back surgery. His doctor seems to think one of the screws in Dan's back shifted and is causing him so much more pain. Dan will be having a Cat Scan soon to find out. I will let you know the results. Please pray no more surgery is needed.

On a happier note............Jim is back in the work force. A place he applied at the same week he was laid off called him in. He is so happy. This is a huge company, with excellent benefits and a great dental plan. I will finally be able to get the rest of these teeth pulled and dentures. I can go back to my cancer doctor and make sure I am still in remission. And I can go to my family doctor to see if I can get that bypass surgery to lose this weight. I want to lose at least 175 pounds.

My mood the past couple months has been really bad. Emma told me Jim told her that he don't know what to do for me because I don't open up and talk to him. I have never been one to talk about myself to my family. I feel so much more comfortable just writing here to all of you. So last night I had a thought. I can't talk openly in person but I can write. So I sat down, got up the courage and wrote Jim a 5 page letter, explaining all that is going on, and what I am feeling. I hope now I can get up the courage to give him this letter.

Well, that's about all there is to write about. There's probably more, but I can't think right now. Going up to 90 today, BLAHHHHHHH. And rain tomorrow, double BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

 

Love you all.................................CINDY

24 comments:

  1. Cindy

    This guy Joe is a loser. If he can't see all the wonderful things you have done for him then its his lost. You are a most wonderful lady, a great mom and grandmother and wife. Joe needs a life and stop lashing out on others. Ignore him..just pay him no mind.

    Patty

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  2. It is sad when people turn on you for no apparent reason, I have had it happen to me several times.  You just move on, put it down to experience.  The was a good idea writing Jim that letter and maybe he can help you more now that he understands.  Did you get the doll I created for you?  You should have had an e-mail with the link

    http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/

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  3. This fellow Joe was a big time user and abuser.  I'm so glad that Jim stood up for you, his wife.  You are so sweet and so special to me.  You haven't lost any friends here.  I know Dan is in a lot of pain and I think its good timing that you all are going over there until your house comes through.  I'm very happy they called Jim for the new job and that way you'll be able to take care of yourself.  I'm praying your cancer stayes in remission for the rest of your lives.  I'd like to have that gastric bypass surgery too but my insurance just won't allow it.  

    Lots of love to you all,

    Nelishia

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  4. It's tough to lose a friend. Especially one that you thought was such a GOOD friend. Believe me...I understand.
    He's such a mean person, and I'm soooo glad Jim finally stood up to him! You guys will be MUCH happier living somewhere else. Your mood will lift the minute you walk out the door and get away from his negative energy.
    I hope you give Jim the letter. I know you've been so sad lately. I'm glad you finally get to see the Doc and the Dentist. GOOD for you!
    Love you,
    Pam xoxox

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  5. Cindy ... it is tough to lose a friend especially when you aren't sure why ... makes it just that much more difficult.

    Give Jim the letter and if he doesn't know about your journal, maybe you could think about letting him know and giving him the link.  

    Praying for all of you ... that good health will continue and that Dan won't have to have more surgery.

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  6. it's hard to understand such things at times ...but things will look better very soon ...i'm sure of it..muahhhhhhhhhh i love you sissy

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  7. awww hon I'm so sorry...   but sometimes it's just time to move on...  in a good way.  Hugs to you
    d

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  8. Happy to hear Jim stood up for you!!! You are on e of t he nicest, hard working, people I know!
    Don't worry about Jim & why he feels this way, sometimes it just happens. Will remember him & your family in prayer.
    Hope you get to move SOON!
    Also prayers going up for Dan. {{}}
    I'd like to have the lap band surg, but I don't think Medicare & Medicaid will pay for it. :(
    Have a good 7/4, & wkend.
    Hugs,
    Sugar

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  9. It is so hard to lose a friend, especially for an unknown reason and when they talk about you like Joe is instead of just walking away which is hard enough. I am glad Jim stood up for you. I hope the letter you wrote to Jim helps him understand what is going on with you and makes your realtionship stronger.
    I will keep Dan in my prayers.
    Congradulations on Jims job especially with all the good benefits.
    I am so glad I found your journal and have had the priviledge of getting to know you.
    Barbara

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  10. Awwwwwwww Cindy, I'm sorry about Joe, but he is not a true friend and you deserve better then that, Love You Lisa XO

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  11. Dearest Cindy, I am pleased that you have written to Jim..Please give it to him when you are both on your own..ie Rebecca in bed !!  just sit there quiet and wait see what he say's  or might even not say...It is sad about Joe and I don't understan it either you have always been so kind and close but who knows...I am thinking he will miss you much more than you will miss him in time.  I hope that you have a lovley 4th July and find some time just to be a united family.  Love  Sybil xx

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  12. I think writing Jim was a great idea. I don't understand Joe either, it totally baffles me. I'm so happy about Jims job and the insurance is Excellent! I will keep Dan in my thoughts.
    luv you
    Ang

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  13. I am so very sorry about the relationship with Joe...and good idea on writing it down to Jim...hope and pray you have a wonderful holiday...no matter what...hugs and much love,
    Joyce

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  14. I'm sorry about Joe, but he is not a true friend and you deserve better then that!I am glad Jim got a job!
    Give Jim the letter!


    Sharon

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  15. I know it hurts, but it doesn't sound like Joe is a friend.  Have a good 4th of July tomorrow.
    Missie

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  16. I'm so glad your husband stood up to Joe.  Joe sounds like a very thoughtless person to me.  I'm sorry he hurt your feelings, but remember he has to live with the things he said.  I hope you and your family have a nice long weekend together.  I'm glad Jim got a new job.
    Hugs!
    Pat

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  17. Dear Cindy.  I think that you shoulld have a chat with Joe and find out what the problem is, and why he is treating you this way. There must be a reason that he has turned on you after all the things you have done for him and his mom.  No wonder you are so distressed. Cindy you are a wonderful person with a golden heart, willing to help each and everyone. Do try to get to the bottom of it. It will make you feel much better if you know what it is bother him. Take care Kathie.

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  18. Why not just allow Jim to read your journal? Doc reads mine,and more often than not he is able to see how I'm feeling and what's going on with me through my entries. It seems I'm more open in my journal about my deafness and various issues than I am in communicating with him. Have a grand 4th dear friend. (Hugs) Indigo

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  19. Cindy, have you asked Joe why he is so angry with you, and saying such hurtful things?  If you don't ask you may never know, and I know that it's really bothering you.  Nothing, to me, anyway, is worse than NOT knowing WHY someone that you thought was your friend, suddenly turns on you.  There is definitely something wrong there.  I would just ask him.
    '
    I'm very happy to hear that Jim now has a job  This recession we are in is just killing people financially, right and left.  So many homeless people.  I'm glad to hear you will be able to get all your medical and dental issues taken care of now.

    Hang in their Cindy...  there are brighter days coming.  You are in my prayers!

    Hugs
    Jackie

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  20. ally123130585918July 4, 2008 at 8:54 AM

    Cindy I cannot belive that Joe is acting like this towards you ~ but I can say he is the loser ~ and really not worthy of your friendship ~ I am so pleased that Jim defended you ~ Ally x

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  21. i thought i had friends online and many who knew my intimate life and thoughts turned on me in an instant without explanation. For awhile i cared and let their evil words and meanness hurt me deeply...then two teens in my city hung themselves and died this year from online bullying so i then knew it was time to move on from things i could not control...you may never know what this dude dislikes you but you can take control, move on and let him live in his misery. You know you have done nothing wrong and YOU are a WONDERFUL person! Make sure you give me your new address quick when you move so my mail gets to you.
    I am so glad Jim got a job! What a blessing!
    XO

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  22. First off you are awesome girl and don't let anybody tell you otherwise. I'm sorry about this deal with Joe and feel like he must be really miserable and hurting to come at you all like he has. Did you ever think that maybe he is jealous of the fact that you and your husband have a great marriage and wonderful family. Joe has no one and I think he's finally figuring out he's gonna be a lonely old man. Usually we hurt the ones we love because they won't hate us for what we say, if that makes any sense. I'm so happy about the new job and the insurance that means so much. Let us know how Dan comes out. I'm so happy to hear that you are finally moving. You'll see things will be better then.
    Take care and Hugs, Chrissie

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  23. I'm just checking in with you, and hope you are feeling better.  Remember you have lots of friends who care about you.
    Hugs,
    Pat

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  24. Cindy,  Glad to hear Jim got a new job!!!! What is up with that joe?  You should confront him on all this crap and see just where he is coming from.  So glad you will be moving soon.
    Michelle

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