Monday, January 12, 2009

Will it ever end?

Always something going on around here that involves a doctor or trip to the hospital. My SIL was at a midnight AA meeting. He's been sober now for 7 years. He started having severe chest pains and couldn't breathe. One of his friends there took him out to the car and drove him to the hospital, then came and got Emma. He had Dan's car. Dan hasn't looked well all day today. Very quiet, tired, hardly eatting at all. The chest pains were so bad, he knew he couldn't drive home to get Emma. So, here I sit at the computer and Adrianna is in her pack n play sleeping next to me. I will be up until One or both of them returns home.
My results are back from the second mammogram and ultrasound. There is a spot the size of a dime. It can't be determined if it is cancer or not. They know it is not a cyst. So on Jan 21 I go into the hospital, so they can remove a piece or even the whole spot, so it can be tested to see if it is cancer. I am a nervous wreck over this. I have been doing alot of praying a whole lot of praying over this. So many thoughts are rushing through my head. Will I lose my entire breast? Will I die of breast cancer? How will my family cope with this? Will I go on getting chemo again, and being sick and dependant on my family again, when it's me who is to care for them? Then there's the big question, WHY ME? I cry then pray, cry again and pray again. I hope GOD hears my prayers. I want to be around and watch my Rebecca grow up, and to watch my grandbabies grow up too. I want to be around for my oldest child Emma and for my husband. Jim just came upstairs, I told him about Dan so he's worried. Emma called, they are putting Dan in a room and hooking him up to all the necessary machines. She said she asked him if he knew who she was and he shook his head no. He talks but his words make no sense. To me it sounds as if he had a stroke. I hope not. Please say a prayer for him and for me too. Jim said he noticed Dan didn't seem right tonight. He said he was slow acting.
Well, our weather here in PA was awful for a couple days, snow and freezing rain. Today it was partly sunny and in the 20's. Gas here in Philadelphia has gone up a few cents, but it's still 1.39 across the bridge in New Jersey. So I go there to get mine. Only cost me 25.00 the other day to fill my tank and I have a big tank in my van. This friday will be 2 weeks since I filled it and I still have 3/4 of a tank. I'll top it off again this friday. Well, I guess that is about it for now. I will come back here and update you on Dan when I know something.

LOVE TO ALL.........................CINDY


  1. Awwwww hon, sending up prayers for you and for Dan too, Big hugs to you hon, hang in there, Love Ya Lisa XO

  2. My Dearest Cindy, You certainly have had more than your share of troubles this last year or so. I am praying that Dan will be ok an dthat this is just another little blip...As far as your last scan goes. I sure hope the next biopsy will turn out well. My Mother had a saying that is quite a good one to live by and that was
    "Never trouble trouble, till trouble trouble you..
    So as we belive our heavanly Father will care for us and all our loved ones if we only trustin him we just must do exactly that..take our troubles to him and walk away leaving them behind...that surely is one of the hardest things we must do
    I have you and ALL your loved ones in my thoughts and prayers..
    Much Love Always Sybil x

  3. OH NO much on your plate right now. I am worried about Dan...and about Emma and all she has been through with him. ANd of course I am worried about you.

    I know you are busy and I am sure it is only going to get busier with Dan being sick now too, but please come back when you can and update us. We are all worried about you.


  4. Cindy keeping you all in my prayers ~ Ally xx

  5. Cindy,
    I sincerely hope the spot is nothing untoward, once they found out what it actually is. Keep us posted.

  6. sorry to hear about dan, hoping all is well with him.
    keeping you in prayer that the spot to be biopsied is not ca. God is in control cindy, stay faithful & strong.
    only a mouse click away if you need me.

  7. I know how hard it is but please try not to worry at this stage. It will not help and it could be something other than what you fear. My prayers are with you.

  8. I hope Dan is okay. Keep us posted. He's had a rough year hasn't he?

    As far as you.....don't worry yourself sick until you have something to worry yourself sick over. There's still a good chance this spot is just a spot!

    I have a spot they found years ago. The same place my mom had breast cancer. However, they just follow it with Mammograms every six months. It hasn't changed size or shape so we just watch.

    I know that's easy for me to say, but I've been there with my mom thru it all.

    Love you!
    Please keep us updated on everything!

  9. I've been so worried. You haven't posted much at all. I will be keeping you and Dan and your whole family in my prayers. Please post soon and let us know how you are doing ok? I know it's a hard time, but hang in there sweetie. They'll figure out what that spot is and I sure hope it's nothing to worry about.
    Love ya!

  10. Dear Cindy,

    I was sorry to read about Dan's health scare and yours too.
    I know how frightened you are as I have gone through breast cancer treatment and come out the other side. Stay strong my friend and take one day at a time. Cope with each day as it comes and try not to worry too much about what if's in the future. It's not easy I know. I am praying hard that your scans are nothing to worry about.
    Please God keep you and your family safe from more worry and harm. You have all had more than enough to be coping with.
    My prayers always include you and Dan.
    God bless you all.
    Jeanie xxx

  11. Oh!Dear Cindy it never rains without it pours for you does it?Know you are in my thoughts and prayers being said always for you and yours.Thinking of you.Yes my son in USA tells me the cost of diesel is coming down well.Look after yourself Cindy.Take Care God Bless.

  12. Oh hun you have alot going on right now! You and your entire family will be in my thoughts and prayers! Please keep us posted. I will be thinking of you and your SIL. Keep praying hun and try to keep your chin up!
    Sending love and hugs your way!

  13. Sorry to hear about Dan. I hope he is okay

  14. one of my close friends lost her right breast to cancer and went thru hell....but she is alive....she is 66. This happened 3 yrs ago. I will pray for you and pray to the Lord that this spot is not cancer..i love you and your family needs you around for many yrs to come! XO

  15. I believe in the power of prayer...try to stay positive and hope for the best!!! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.


  16. I am so sorry about all of this frightening news. I have had three biopsies on my breasts and they turned out to be calcification. the lumps were removed with no cancer. Please do not go to the cancer place until you know for sure. Why waste your days thinking about something that may not be. I know it's hard I've been there. I am sending prayers for you and your sil. hang in there. May God give you strength.

    Also the weather in Illinois is horrible. It's -27 and our gas is up to $1.99 from $1.65


  17. I'll be praying for you every day, Cindy. I will pray for a benign spot and for favor in every area of your life. blessings, Penny