Good evening. Oh wait it's after midnight, so I guess it is good morning, lol. Oh well whatever it is........Hello. I am sitting up babysitting. Dan & Emma are out and will probably be home in a couple hours. Jim and Rebecca, Marissa, Daniel are sleeping. The baby Adrianna is wide awake. She woke up at 11pm. I changed her, dressed her in her jammies, fed her the cereal Emma gives her a night, and now she is in her pack n play here next to me. She'll be getting a warm bottle of formula soon. She is 15 months old now, and the pediatrician said her weight doesn't match her height. She is 20lbs 3 oz. When you hold her she still feels like an infant in your arms, but a long one, lol. So, Emma was advised to keep her on formula until 18mos maybe even until she turns 2yrs old. I went to the doctor's to pick up my slips for the tests he wants done again. He wants more views of the left breast and an ultrasound done of it also. I have to call tomorrow and make the appointments to have these tests done. January 5th I see my doctor again, and will be getting more bloodwork done. I feel like a pin cushion/guinea pig, lol. I had another of those leg jerking episodes tonight. I know now when there coming. My left arm will get a heavy feeling and do a few tiny twitches, then the leg starts bending and jerking uncontrolably for at least 30 seconds, no more then 45 seconds. I hold on and just let it pass. It only happens when I am standing.
I realize I haven't made a proper thank you to those of you who sent cards this christmas to me and my family. I promise I will do that. Problem is they are hung up over and down the doorway and I can't lift my arms without getting dizzy to read them. So, I have to wait until Emma takes them down.

I have a lil vent here I wanna make. It is about my granddaughter Marissa's paternal grandparents. Dan is not Marissa's biological father, he is her stepfather. But in his eyes and all of ours Dan is Daddy to her and always will be. The biological father lives in another state, remarried with another family. His parents live right over in New Jersey, just 5 minutes from the bridge from where we live. The grandfather has not seen, called, held, or bought Marissa a gift or sent a card since she was 2 years old. The grandmother has not seen Marissa in almost 2 years. The last time she came to visit Marissa asked her who she was. Now is that pathetic or what? This year she received no cards, no gifts from either one again for her birthday or for christmas. My granddaughter does not need to be forgotten like this. She is a beautiful happy smart little girl and deserves to have family in her life. But you know it's not just Marissa's loss, it is their loss too, and my gain cause I get to have her to myself, heehee, but I do share with Dan's mom. lol.

Ok, I guess I have written enough here. I'm gonna go in pogo for a while and play some canasta. Have a great week all and a wonderful new year.

LOVE,

CINDy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

So sorry I didn't get back here last night to make an entry. I was just so tired, so off to bed I went. Well, let's see, where do I start? Christmas eve morning at 8:45 I got a call from my doctor concerning the results of my mammogram. They see something suspicious in my left breast and cannot tell if it is a tumor or a cyst, so he wants another mammogram of the left breast done. It has me worried a little, well it has me worried alot, because history of breast cancer in my family has proved deadly. Every woman in my family who was diagnosed with it has died. I beat my Hodgekins Lymphoma, so I am hoping if this lump is breast cancer I can beat it too. Please keep me in your prayers.

Later that day I went and finished my shopping. Let me tell you, people go crazy over the most stupid toys. Two women were fighting right in the toy isle over a Barney doll. It didn't talk, dance, sing or move at all, but they both wanted it. The knocked a huge display of perfumes and colognes all over the floor. Needless to say I hurried and got in line at the cash register while everyone else ran to see the fight. I then drove to Burger King and bought myself a crispy chicken sandwich from their dollar menu. It's a very tasty sandwich too. Later after the kids ate dinner and were sound asleep in their beds, Emma and I wrapped over 300 gifts, I think maybe it was close to 400 gifts. These children got everything they wanted, plus some. The looks on their faces made staying up til 3am wrapping worth it, lol. I took pictures, I just have to download them.

Christmas day was great. The kids sang Happy Birthday to Jesus, then opened their gifts. Emma and I and Dan and Jim all pitched in and cooked dinner. We made 2 hams, rolled turkey stuffed with homemade stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, baked yams, homemade coleslaw, cranberry sauce, corn, greenbeans, deviled eggs, wheat rolls. 7 pots of coffee was brewed. There was dan & Emma and their 3 kids, Jim and I and Rebecca, Dan's mom, 3 of his brothers, 3 nephews and girlfriends, a friend and his mom and girlfriend, plus 2 other kids totaling 23 people. It was a long day for sure. I was so happy to put the kids to bed, because shortly after that's what I did, was go to bed, lol.

Well, the kids don't go back to school until January 5th. They've been good though, keeping busy playing with their toys, laptops and Rebecca goes outside to play with her scooter. The girls are in my room watching tv, Daniel and Adrianna are down for a nap. Dan is resting on the couch watching tv and Jim is in the kitchen. Emma went to go get a tan and to grocery store.

I guess that is about all there i to write about so I will go now. Take care, stay safe , and have a wonderful New Year.

LOVE TO ALL..............................................CINDY

I'LL MAKE A BETTER POSTING ABOUT WHATS GOING ON LATER TONIGHT. RIGHT NOW I JUST WANTED TO SHARE THIS 2009 WISH WITH YOU.


.....your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2009! My Wish for You in 2009 May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address! In simple words ............ May 2009 be the best year of your life

Is it just me or did christmas come to fast this year? I always say I am going to start my shopping during the summer, but do I? Noooooo, I don't. I always end up waiting until the last minute. Emma says we're getting a tree this weekend. She always gets a real tree, I like artificial tree's, less mess, lol.I have a few more people to buy for and the shopping is done. Then I have to wrap everything I bought, and I do not like to wrap. I love the above graphic. There's just something beautiful about black and white pictures. I just wish it said Merry Christmas instead of Season's Greetings.

Well, the past week we've had one or the other, sometimes all 3 of rain, sleet, snow. Is it summer yet, or even spring? I am so ready for warm weather again. I am not a winter person, lol.

Yesterday was report card conferences with the teachers. I am very proud to say Rebecca got all A's and Marissa got A's and B's. Marissa is reading at 1st grade level and doing 1st grade math, Rebecca is doing 2nd grade math and reading at 3rd grade level. I am so proud of them both. When Emma and I got home yesterday I made the girls an icecream sundae as a reward for their great work. Needless to say they were very happy about getting a sundae, . Above is the girl's school pics this year. Marissa didn't wear her school uniform, but Rebecca did.

Ok I saved this news for last. Yesterday I had my EMG. The doctor who did it said I have some nerve damage because alot of the nerves he shocked didn't even register on chart at all. The numbness and stinging in my leg, he wants to get an MRI and see what is going on. So he will make a report to my doctor about that. This morning I went and had my mammogram. Whew I am glad that was over. 8 pictures of each boob, wow. Now I have to make an appt at the gyno for a paptest. I really hate getting those. OK, now the results of Catscan. It showed blood from heart pumps a little slow, he said start taking baby aspirin again. And it showed I have a small hernia behind belly button, not serious enough to worry about. And it also showed........I AM CANCER FREE,,,,,,,,WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I am so happy. I was so scared. My husband Jim was worried, everyone was worried. But I'm ok, and I have all of you with your kind thoughts and prayers for me to thank. You all rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now if the mammogram comes back clean and the paptest, I will be one happy camper. So please keep those prayers coming ok. Their working. Well, I just took my bedtime pill, so I am going to go play in pogo a bit, before the sandman comes knocking. Take care, keep well and have a very Merry Christmas.

LOVE TO ALL...................CINDY XOXOXOXOXOX

STRESS, NERVES, WORRIED, SCARED

So, much has happened and will be happening, that I have had to keep it all written down so not to forget any of it. Since I started back to the doctor's I have had blood work done, ultra sound of my heart, and yesterday a Cat Scan to see if my cancer has returned. Catscan results will be ready by end of week. Ultrasound of heart showed something wrong, doctor could only te4ll me my heart isn't beating at a regular beat. Said results will show what is wrong, so we're waiting for that report. This tuesday I'm being electricuted with an EMG Test and wednesday I'm going to have my boobs flattened like a pancake. Nurse Kratchet at cat scan couldn't find a vein and poked my right arm 3 times, so had to call in an ER nurse to get a vein. She got one on top of my hand to inject the dye into me. Also had to drink a quart of this horrible tasting stuff, man it was awful, yuck!!!!!!!!!!! Today both my legs went numb on me and I fell twice. Both arms also went numb, with slight pin needle sensations stabbing me in left side of chest. Oh the wonders of growing old, huh? Not only am I stressed out to the "T" but I am a nervous wreck and worried big time. Is my heart dieing, is my cancer back, will mammogram show something wrong? Needless to say I am doing alot of thinking and a whole lot of praying over all this. Am I scared? Yes, I am terrified it's all going to be bad news. I am now on BP meds, water pill, antidepressant and cholesterol/sugar pill.

On a good note, I'd like to thank LisaJo, Jeannette & her hubby Mike, Nancy, Lisa, Sybil, Missie for the lovely christmas cards I have received over the past week. Thank you so much, each one means so much to me. I hope and pray you all have a wonderful christmas and an even better new year. I will keep you updated on what's happening with me.

GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU..................Cindy xoxoxo

Too Funny

Bullshit and Brilliance A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?' Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!' Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine! Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and <>thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending h e hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says. 'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard! Moral of this story.... Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience. If you don't send this to three 'old' friends right away there will be three fewer people laughing in the world. I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more youthfully challenged.You did notice the size of the print?

Too Funny

Bullshit and Brilliance A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?' Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!' Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine! Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and <>thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending h e hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says. 'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard! Moral of this story.... Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience. If you don't send this to three 'old' friends right away there will be three fewer people laughing in the world. I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more youthfully challenged.You did notice the size of the print?

The doctor called me yesterday with results of my blood work. My cholesterol level is higher then it was 2 years ago, and my triglycerides are up. He gave me a prescription for a generic form of Zocor. It will lower both hopefully, at least thats what it says it will do. He's gonna check my blood work again in a month.
Today I went and had my ultrasound done of my heart. All she would tell me was there's no fluid build up and nothing is leaking and my doctor will have a complete report by friday. Which is good because I have an appointment with him on friday. Then the 16th I go and have an EKG. On the 17th Emma and I are going to the cemetary to visit her son/my grandsons grave. He would of been 10 years old had he lived. God had other plans for him though and called our lil Michael back to heaven. He never got to take a breathe of air outside Emma's womb, but when I held that 9lb 5oz baby boy in my arms looked into his face and kissed his cheeks, my heart melted with love for that precious baby and to this day I couldn't love him anymore then I already do. May he always rest in peace in God's loving arms.
Well, I am going to go and take a shower now. Then take the generic zocor pill and go to bed. It says it can cause drowziness. Well let me tell you, it sure does. It knocked me out and I didn't get up until 8am this morning, and the girls had to be at school at 8:24. Guess what? They got there at 8:22, lol. I think I broke my own record, lol. Well, I'd better go now and get my shower. Have a great evening and week.


CINDY

Something to think about

There comes a point in your life when you realize
who matters,
who never did,
who won't anymore...
and who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.



'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.' A sharp tongue can cut my own throat. If I want my dreams to come true, I mustn't oversleep. Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends..... B1. The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts. The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge. One thing I can give and still keep...is my word. If I lack the courage to start, I have already finished. One thing I can't recycle is wasted time. Ideas won't work unless ' I ' do. My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice. The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late to become what I might have been. Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right.. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

Doctor, snow, pervert

Just thought I'd drop in a while, say hello to you all and let you know what has been happening. I went to the doctor's on friday. I was there almost 2 hours. Got weighed (gained) had blood pressure check, 110/88, bottom number too high for dentist to pull teeth. He wants bottom number under 80, grrrrrr. Lots of tubes of blood taken, doctor took the blood himself instead of getting nurse to do it. He gave me a prescription for the Lexapro that I have been taking, plus a prescription for Lazic which I take 1 a day along with a big glass of orange juice. I go back on Dec 9th for an EKG, the on 12th for an ultra sound of my heart, and on the 16th for a nerve test. And I am scheduled to go into the hospital for a pet scan to check and see if cancer is back and for the swelling on right side of my head. Also have to go and have a mammogram and pap smear next month. I told him about my shortness of breath and he listened to my lungs and said they sound great. That was good to hear. So hopefully within the next few weeks we find out what is going on in my body.
It is snowing here right now. Suppose to get about an inch. That's too much for me, lol. Hate snow, I really do. I'd rather live on a tropical island where it's warm during the day and cool at night so I could sleep, lol.
Dan and Emma took the kids (Rebecca,Marissa,Daniel) out today to a heated tents flea market. Well Dan had to go report a pervert. This man kept staring at Rebecca and Marissa, following them everywhere, just staring, and then showing his teeth and snapping with his mouth at them. The cop said they got another report from someone about the same man, but until he physically touch or grabbed onne of the girls they couldn't do anything to the man. My Emma wanted to use her karate on the guy, lol. Sick people in this world.
Jim and I went christmas shopping at Big Lots. Man I love that store. We spent 175.00, but I am now almost done. I just need something for Dan and Emma, Rebecca wants socks, lol and I have to get Adrianna a carseat. She's outgrowing her baby one, sniff, sniff. We took Adrianna shopping with us. Of course her poppop got her an Elmo guitar, and she loves it.
I've been doing my christmas cards today, for those of you I have an address for. If you've never sent me your address and want to exchange cards with me email me at emabecmar@aol.com

I've been trying to get to all your journals. There's so many I have lost touch with since aohell booted us all out of jland. Couldn't they of waited until after the holidays, jeez. Well, it's going on 11:30 and I am tired. Before I forget, thank you Missie for the lovely card I received in mail. Yours will be in post office monday morning when I go check the mail. Also I wanted to ask you all a favor. Dan, my sil says he gets no good email. Could you if you have the time email him once in a while even just to say hi, or send him a funny joke or something and make him happy. Thank you so much if you can.
I'd better go. Take care, enjoy the rest of your weekend.
May God bless each and every one of you.

CINDY