It's 8:45pm, Jim and rebecca are in bed for the night. Maybe now my migrain and frustration will go away. Today it seemed like every little thing bothered me. Everything I did was wrong, everything I said was wrong. Everything I picked up, I dropped. It's my nerves, I guess. All these worries and frustrations are taking their toll on me now. If I had insurance, I would probably admit myself into Friends Hospital in the nut ward. I need some alone time, some peace and quiet. And around here that isn't happening. Calgon wouldn't even help right now. I swear if there isn't an income coming in this house soon, I'll go nuts.
I'd like to be able to sit somewhere quiet, no traffic, no people, no ringing phones, and just enjoy a hot cup of tea and just look at my surroundings. It feels like everyone and everything are bothering me. Wish I was a caterpillar. I'd hide in my coccoon for a while, maybe I'd have some peace then. I don't even feel comfortable at my own computer during the day. Seems like everyone is behind me reading, asking questions. Today I tried to do 2 entries. Jim comes up behind me, "click" left it to go away. This is my dam journal, my private thoughts, but out James. Rebecca is the same way. What's that say, I want to see that pic, show me turtles, like jeez go away people, your invading my space. So, I guess from now, on my entries will have to be made at night after they go to bed, and maybe early in the morning if I get up before they do.
It's been raining all day today. I like rain, but today it just seemed so depressing. No money, no car, just stuck in the house. Left to stare at the walls or out a rain soaked window at the world outside. Still no unemployment check. Man I hope it comes tomorrow. Cause if it doesn't come tomorrow, we'll be eatting creamed peas on toast for dinner. And I can't stand peas, I gag trying to eat them. lol Rebecca hasn't noticed yet, but I've been watering down her apple juice. It was half way full, so I filled it the rest of the way with water. And today it was 3/4 way full, so I filled it again. It's more like an apple drink now then apple juice. I don't think I can get away with it again. This kid is smart. I put icecubes in her glass now with it, cause she said it didn't taste right, so I tell her it's the ice cubes making it taste different. It's worked so far.
I've drank 3 pot's of coffee today, so I am totally coffee'd out. I'm all out of diet pepsi. I have 2 teabags left, one soon, cause I am going to go make a cup of tea soon. Or maybe not. I don't want it to keep me awake all night. I have trouble sleeping as it is. I toss and turn all night. My left leg gets to stinging cause of nerve damage to my hip and lower back. Always some kind of ailment going on with my body. I've been trying to lose weight, but it's so hard. I probably have lost some weight in the past week, due to trying to save a little food and making it last longer until that dam unemployment check comes. Man, they take their good ole time. Welfare says Jim made too much, so we are not eligible for assistance. HUH? We have no money, well we do, a whole 1.13 in my checking account, 1.00 in the money market account, and 1.07 in savings account. I had to pay the bills, so that's what was left. It just sucks right now. Where is that dag on check, we need some money quick, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Oh, well, I've written enough of my depressing problems down for one night. I think I'll read a couple journals then go to bed. Hopefully the sandman won't let me down tonight.