Friday, April 6, 2007

Men and their dreaming lol

Man Rules, keep dreaming guys
 
1.   Men are not mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

4. Shopping is not a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is blackmail.


6. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

7. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

8. Come to us with a problem
only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
problem. See a doctor.

10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

11. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
 


12. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the
 other way.

14. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

15. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the c ommercials.

16. Christopher Columbus did
not need directions and neither do we.

17. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

18. If it itches, it
will be scratched.
We do that.
 


19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

20. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

22. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as sex, cars, the shotgun formation,
or
  BASKETBALL.


23. You have enough clothes.

24. You have too many shoes.

25. I am in shape.
 Round is a shape!


26. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping
 
Sent to me from poppop bill

11 comments:

  1. just too funny..love it
    -Ellie

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  2. That really was so funny ~ Typical Male philosophy :o) ~ Ally

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  3. bob cracked up at this and said men are much more simple than women are and then he walked over to the couch and sat down and laughed
    hugs
    noelle

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  4. LOL, trust that to come from a man, thought it was funny thought
    love Lynne xx

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  5. men wont like this entry but i do. Funny!
    love,lisa

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  6. OMG! (((giggles)))  Love, Shelly

    P.S.  Happy Easter! : )

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  7. i love this and i'm forwarding it to momma

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  8. I've got to forward this to family.  LOL
    Missie

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  9. HA HA HA Too funny!
    Pam

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  10. AMEN!
    Your lil' sis
    Ang

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  11. thats too funny i'm going to copy and show my mom
    ttyl
    em

    ReplyDelete